Jump Out of Bed, Super Star!
Last week, Nintendo announced a $100 alarm clock. It tells time, plays sounds from some of your favorite Switch games… and, checks notes, watches you as you sleep. In typical Nintendo fashion, it’s a product nobody asked for, so of course they’re giving it to us. (Insert jokes like: “Does it count down until the Switch 2?”)
Officially titled “Nintendo Sound Clock: Alarmo” (but let’s face it, we’re just calling it Alarmo), this mechanical wonder is marketed as a way to start the day feeling like you’re in your favorite Nintendo games. If Super Mario Odyssey is your alarm, you’ll hear tunes like the ever-catchy, fittingly titled “Jump Up, Super Star!” The clock also features music from Breath of the Wild, Splatoon 3, Ring Fit Adventures, and Pikmin 4, with other titles coming as free updates. (Insert more jokes: “DLC for a clock?!“)
But the real kicker is what happens after the alarm sounds. Alarmo features a motion sensor, which it uses to track movement as you sleep. If you toss and turn as “Jump Up, Super Star!” plays, you’ll hear the whir of Mario coins. If the active “scene” is set to Splatoon, you’ll hear the sound of ink. While you can snooze the alarm with a wave of your hand, the music and effects will gradually grow more intense until you hop up (which automatically stops the alarm).
It sounds ridiculous, but there’s some appeal here. Provided you can get over the ick of Nintendo capturing your sleep data, the idea of waking up in the land of Hyrule or Animal Crossing is pretty rad. Unfortunately, Alarmo features a pretty glaring design flaw: It doesn’t work properly if you sleep next to someone. According to Nintendo, the clock struggles to track both people’s movements, and if one person gets up but the other stays, the alarm will get confused.
So, it’s a $100 clock marketed at Nintendo fans—specifically, single people. If the market for this thing was niche before, it’s practically non-existent now. And if no one buys it… well, who’s to say Nintendo bothers supporting it post-launch? It seems like a waste of a Benjamin.
Here’s why I’m buying it anyway.
The Case for Nintendo Alarmo
I’m a Nintendo guy. I like to buy silly gaming gizmos. (Evidence: I bought the Playdate, played it about four times, then never touched it again.) I also live with my partner, who absolutely, positively does not like being woken up.
She told me, “Don’t even think about buying it.” I might still do it.
Here’s why: Even though a motion-tracking alarm clock won’t work for us, Alarmo thankfully has two modes. The first, “hands-free mode,” was what Nintendo marketed earlier this week. But the clock has a second option, “button mode,” which nixes the motion-tracking altogether in favor of a regular old alarm clock. Goodbye, pesky coin sounds—never knew ya!
What that leaves, essentially, is a stripped-down Alarmo that just plays Nintendo music. Let’s-a go! That’s essentially all I wanted to begin with, especially given Nintendo’s relentless desire to keep its music off of Spotify and YouTube. Throw in a few other bells and whistles (hourly chimes, stylized fonts, white noise if my partner ever wants to chill out to the waves of New Horizon), and there’s enough meat on the Bokoblin bone to make this enticing.
Still, at $100, I imagine a glorified Nintendo jukebox won’t move the needle for most folks. Even with Nintendo’s music crackdown, it’s relatively simple to rip an MP3 to play Mario or Zelda music as your phone alarm.
If that’s you, I get that! As for me, I’ll be making my case to the missus.
For more reactions to bonkers Nintendo marketing, check out our analysis of the crying Zelda guy ad.
