In honor of Valentine’s Day and because love is fun, we’re talking romance in video games in the newest episode of The Punished Podcast. I’m talking kissing, conversation options with hearts, longing looks, fades to black, all that good stuff.
We discuss how and why romance works in games, what the classic mechanics to relationship building are, and our favorite romance arcs. Toward the end of the episode, I even tried a little dating game among our guests—listen to find out who our most desirable bachelor is!
– Amanda Tien, Editor
The Punished Podcast Episode 15
MP3 Download | Spotify | Apple Podcasts
Timestamps
- 0:00 – Introductions
- 5:45 – Why is Romance in Video Games?
- 11:30 – The Mechanics of Video Game Romances
- 21:27 – Our Favorite Romances in Games
- 44:12 – Games We Wish Had Romance
- 55:42 – Dating Sim Visual Novels
- 1:04:23 – Romance Shout-Outs
- 1:09:54 – The Dating Game: Punished Backlog Edition
Content warning: This episode is not particularly NSFW, but it does occasionally get M-rated and has some swearing.
Excerpt: Defining Romance in Video Games
Amanda: Next, let’s get into the mechanics of how romance functions when it’s there. HOW do those romances build? I’ve been thinking about this a lot ever since we decided to do this episode topic, so I want to give a little spiel and then hear what y’all think.
In my view, there are basically three ways that romance builds in video games.
The first is what I’ll call the movie version, which Gary called “the narrative.” There’s one main character that you’re playing, he (or she, though that’s way less statistically true) is into someone, and eventually, he builds a romance with them or has some kind of FEELINGS about it — i.e. there’s no choice here, your dude loves who he loves. You may have the option to hook up with random side strangers. But the romance is less of an action and more of something that propels the character forward. For example, this is Uncharted, many Assassin’s Creeds, Signalis, Dishonored, Kingdom Hearts, Halo.
The second is the Stardew Valley version, which Gary called “the bouquet,” where you have a few options of who you could romance, and the way that you get them to like you is by talking them every day, having the same conversation over and over again, and giving them gifts, until gradually, you give them the best gift and now boom they’re your wife. There might be times where you have to pick “the right” dialogue option as well. It’s a pretty transactional way to get to who you want to love. This is what happens in Fire Emblem: Three Houses, the Persona series, even The Sims and Skyrim to a certain extent, and in dating sims.
The third is the Bioware version, where there is choice but the romance is slow burn and interwoven with the core plot. Over the course of the game, you’ll be talking to them and occasionally see a dialogue option that is clearly flirty or even has a heart option next to it, and sometimes you have to do side quests to build your relationship, and eventually, you have to lock into that romance choice before you can experience all the magic it has to offer. So this is in Bioware’s Dragon Age and Mass Effect games, and also Larian’s Baldur’s Gate 3 and CD Project Red’s The Witcher 3, and some of the Life is Strange games.
What do y’all think of those mechanics? Which ones work for you, which ones don’t? Are there are other WAYS you see romance works?
Song Credits
- “Sayonara Wild Hearts” from Sayonara Wild Hearts (lyrics by Daniel Olsén and composed by Jonathan Eng)
- “Kairi I” from Kingdom Hearts (composed by Yoko Shimomura)
- “Dream Daddy Theme” from Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator (composed by Baths)
- “Sweet” from Persona 5 (composed by Shoji Meguro)
Want more romance content? Check out Gary’s list of the best romance songs in video games!
The Best Video Game Romances
We talked about many great titles in this podcast episode, but here were some of our favorites that we discussed passionately:
- Afterlove EP
- Coffee Talk
- Doki Doki Literature Club
- Dungeon Boyfriend
- Dream Daddy
- Life is Strange
- Final Fantasy VII Rebirth
- Final Fantasy X and X-2
- Florence
- Mass Effect 2 and Mass Effect 3
- Persona 5
- Regency Love
- Stardew Valley (check out Allison’s ranking of the Stardew Valley romance options!)
- The Witcher 3
- To The Moon
- Unpacking
Have other favorites? Let us know in the comments!
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Allison has been playing all sorts of games since the late ‘90s. She particularly enjoys life sims, casual games, tactical RPGs, and anything Mario. Her dream jobs are to be a Stardew Valley speed runner and a Mary Tyler Moore historian. As a recent MBA graduate, Allison hopes to use her extra time tackling her backlog and the never-ending list of 2023 releases.
David is the founder of The Punished Backlog. He has a problem finishing games he starts. Just beat: Nine Sols, UFO 50. Working on: Metaphor: ReFantazio. Can't wait for: Hollow Knight: Silksong. Follow David on Twitter at @David_Silbert to keep up to date with all things The Punished Backlog.
Amanda Tien (she/her or they) loves video games where she can pet dogs, punch bad guys, make friends, and have a good cry. She started writing for the site in 2020, and became an editor in 2022. She enjoys writing about mystery games, indies, and strong femme protagonists. Her work has also been published in Unwinnable Monthly (click here to read her cover feature on Nancy Drew games), Salt Hill Journal, Poets.org, Litro Magazine, Public Books, and more. She was the Co-Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Columbia University's Culinarian Magazine, and served for two years as the Managing Editor of Aster(ix) Literary Journal. She recently graduated with a MFA (Master of Fine Arts) in Creative Writing from the University of Pittsburgh. Her writing, art, graphic design, and marketing work can be viewed at www.amandatien.com. She does not post a lot on social, but you can find her on X and on Instagram.
Gary is a jack-of-all-trades video game enthusiast based in Boston, MA. A semi-professional fighting game player, even less professional Apex Legends player, and even less professional adult, he spends most of his time poking at strange indie gems and reading about the need for more diverse voices in gaming criticism. He invites anyone to recommend anything he's missed in the gaming world via Twitter or BlueSky, where he can found under the username @grtnpwrfl. When he isn't spending his time playing games, Gary is an avid New England Patriots fan and frequent hiker.
