I love it when video games make me cry. Not because I necessarily love crying (I’m not completely unhinged), but because I love seeing this medium rise to the haters’ challenges of not being a serious storytelling medium. I like games that make me feel stuff so much that it’s in my bio for this site. I’d dare anyone to tell me who played Spiritfarer that it didn’t make them feel things.
Through interactivity, video games envelop players in their worlds. The highs and lows become palpable. When a video game makes me cry, I am both rooted deeply in the imagined reality while also suddenly reminded of my own humanity. It’s a gnarly experience.
In early November, Sam Martinelli (who writes an amazing tiered GOTY list every year of every game he’s played) started asking our writers to think about their End-of-Year lists and what unique lenses they could have. As a joke, I suggested that I could do a feature on my Best Video Game Cries of the year. But then I doubled down on the bit, so here we are.
Best Video Game Cries of 2023
These were all the video games I played this year that made me cry (some did not come out this year).
Spoilers in varying degrees for, in alphabetical order: Across the Spider-Verse (2023), Bird Alone (2020), Life is Strange: True Colors (2021), Marvel’s Spider Man-2 (2023), Signalis (2022), The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt (2015), Venba (2023)
Content warning: loss, death including suicide, family issues, interpersonal conflict.
9. Ciri Visiting Skjall’s Grave The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt (2015)
I played The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt, the epic RPG, for the first time this summer. While there were many incredible stories, I cried once briefly. In an optional side quest, “The Calm Before the Storm,” Geralt can accompany Ciri to give a proper burial to her one-time friend, Skjall, who saved her life from the Wild Hunt on the islands of Skellige.
The local surviving villagers didn’t realize the significance of Skjall’s choices, and they reproach Ciri. They claim he doesn’t deserve to have his name remembered. In a rare moment of losing control, Ciri fights back with her fists and words. She defends Skjall’s honor, and the townspeople leave, murmuring amongst themselves. Ciri is able to bury Skjall and say goodbye.
Even though he’s a minor character, Skjall makes a profound impression on both players and Ciri. I was moved by Ciri’s conviction in her values and what she knows to be true. Seeing Ciri stand up for what’s right and memorialize a lost friend really spoke to me, and I shed approximately .5 a tear.
8. Cooking, Alone, in Venba (2023)
For much of Venba, you play the titular character as she cooks meals for her husband and son. There are seven chapters, each centering around a meal.
Venba illustrates the power of food to bring people together, and so it’s especially painful when Venba cooks alone after her husband has passed away and her son, Kavin, is off at college. One year on her son’s birthday, she invites him over for a big meal and he texts back, “Sure.” Venba spends hours making an incredible feast that made my mouth water. And at the last minute, he cancels.
Venba sits on a small balcony and rocks alone in a chair while the food cools on the table behind her. It’s absolutely heartbreaking, and I teared up a little. (Don’t worry, there’s emotional resolution at the end of the game! I hope you’ll play it.) After finishing this level, I stopped to call my mom and tell her how much I love her.
7. MJ and Peter’s fights in Marvel’s Spider-Man 2 (2023)
Things are tense with Peter Parker and serious girlfriend Mary-Jane Watson from the beginning of Marvel’s Spider-Man 2, and it heightens throughout the game. MJ is frustrated with her work, and Peter doesn’t really listen. Peter wants MJ to move-in, but his house is a mess. Everything comes to a peak when MJ gets infected by the Venom Symbiote, and she becomes Scream.
Besides just being a totally epic change to the comic book canon, MJ’s turn as Scream is a difficult boss fight fueled by the unique kind of disappointment in a partner. Peter apologizes over and over again for failing to support MJ the way that she has supported him. He knows he needs to be better. I felt distinctly that someone writing this scene had definitely gone to couple’s therapy.
MJ also laments her professional and personal journey, lashing out with frustration. “No one cares about my writing,” she cries out. Hit me right in the feels. Throughout this fight, I got that heavy feeling in my chest and could feel approximately 2.5 tears gathering at the corners of my eyes.
Note: This is not the last time Spider-Man 2 appears on this list.
6. Elster reaching Ariane in Signalis (2022)
The entire directive of Signalis, a spooky top-down horror zombie robot girl shooter from last year, is to help Elster find her girlfriend. As the game goes on, players realize that their time with Elster is not the first time she’s made this journey. She’s, depending on who you ask to explain Signalis to you, in a time loop or in a dream or a clone with shared memories. No matter the why, Elster is determined to get to Ariane.
When she finally does, it’s a touching and lovely reunion that cannot last. Ariane is slowly dying, and depending on the ending you receive, she may ask Elster to kill her. My Elster agreed, and they shared a last memory of dancing together, alone in a spaceship in the middle of an empty universe, before passing away.
Signalis is a depressing “sapphic horror masterpiece” but one that asserts that it’s better to have love and lost than never to have loved at all. This was a 3-tear cry for me.
5. Miguel and Miles’ Fight in Across the Spider-Verse
Okay, not quite a video game, but I’m making up my own list and this movie gave me gaming vibes for obvious reasons. I talked to a lot of people about Across the Spider-Verse, and everyone mentioned different moments they got emotional.
For me, it’s when Miguel O’Hara tells Miles he doesn’t deserve to be Spider-Man, that he was a mistake, and that ultimately, he doesn’t belong anywhere. This is one of my greatest fears, just like Miles. I felt the tears coming down my face in the theater. And then when Miles pulls himself up anyway and pushes forward, both literally and figuratively…incredible. I think I literally pumped my fist in the air.
Note: Yes, there’s a lot of Spider-Man here. Clearly it gets to me. When I was a kid and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I answered “Spider-Man,” “astronaut,” and “someone with a dog” in that order.
4. Harry’s Death in Marvel’s Spider-Man 2 (2023)
As Anthony predicted way back when, the main Venom baddie in Spider-Man 2 goes from being Peter Parker to his best friend, Harry Osborne. The Symbiote suit was originally designed to save Harry from a deadly degenerative disease, but it has a mind of its own.
As the game progresses, Harry is unable to master control of the Symbiote, and it takes over not only his body, but all of New York City. Next up, the world. There’s nothing Peter can do except fight Harry. He’s desperate to not lose Harry to the disease or to the Symbiote.
But things are too far gone, and during the final big boss fight of the game, Harry is able to assert just a few moments of consciousness. Harry begs Peter to kill him. Eventually, Spider-Man admits what he has to do. Peter kills his best friend to save the world. In Harry’s final moments, Peter’s voice breaks as he says, “I love you.” Harry manages a brief smile, and then, he is gone.
Throughout Spider-Man 2, we watch Peter grapple with his emotions and take responsibility for his actions (much better than Alan Wake does). I loved Insomniac for giving us this moment where one man admits his love, openly and freely, for a friend. Saying goodbye to friendships is always painful (more on that in a moment), and this moment was especially powerful for its defiance of toxic masculinity.
I almost missed the following scenes (when Miles jumpstarts Harry’s heart with his electric powers, but then Harry sinks into a coma) because I was crying 5-10 tears.
Note: This is still not the last time Spider-Man 2 appears on this list.
3. The Final “Boss Fight” of Life is Strange: True Colors
I’m an Asian American woman who’s so empathetic that it often becomes a fault. So yeah, Life is Strange: True Colors–which features an Asian American woman whose life is shaped by over-the-top magical empathy powers–absolutely got to me.
Like other Life is Strange games, True Colors is driven by conversations and exploration. Out of all the installments I’ve played, True Colors does the most interesting work with gameplay and nuanced, realistic characters. There comes a moment in the end of the game where protagonist Alex Chen has to unmask a local hero as not only a fraud, but a murderer. What happens next is entirely dependent on the choices and relationships that Alex has built up over the game.
We live in a society that consistently prioritizes some voices over others. I knew that Alex was right, and I was so afraid no one would listen to her. It’s a hyper tense situation, and I started tearing up hoping that someone, anyone, would believe her. Luckily, I had done the work, and I was able to expose the painful but necessary truth. But that feeling and situation was super real and tangible, and it made me anxiously cry throughout the last 10 minutes of gameplay.
2. Howard’s FNSM Mission in Spider-Man 2
Video games very rarely feature songs with words. Original soundtracks are gorgeous pieces of music that have been especially curated for the game. Spider-Man 2 breaks this norm a few times, first in the opening minutes of the game with a new sick hip-hop beat from Earthgang that perfectly captures that feeling of swinging around the city and fighting crime. One of the other times broke me.
Peter Parker visits an old friend, Howard, a homeless man who has a flock of pigeons he cares for. They sit together by the pier, Peter listening to Howard’s memories of his life. Then, Howard asks Peter to find a nice, wooded place for his birds–he thinks they deserve to travel. Peter agrees, and swings off.
As a flock of birds rises up around Peter, the game’s second anachronistic music cue comes in: “SeaBird” by the Alessi Brothers from 1976. There’s a road I know I must go, they gently croon. The sun is setting, the waves on the Hudson rippling below. The skyscrapers of Lower Manhattan glisten. Queens glows like a promised land. And I started sobbing.
I knew Howard was going to die. I had a close friend who committed suicide in New York several years ago. For a while after, I beat myself up for not recognizing the signs. I’ve since been to a lot of therapy, and have worked hard on my mental health. I’ve made a point over the last several years to talk open and honestly about promoting mental health with family, friends, and even acquaintances when it feels appropriate.
Howard’s side quest in Spider-Man 2 deeply moved me. Home is a big theme in my work and writing, and as I directed Peter towards his own childhood house that was littered with memories, watching birds sweep and dive around us, I was overcome with emotion. It made me remember me and my friend’s last day together–it was also a beautiful New York summer evening, and the birds flew home.
I cried so much I had to pause the game and walk away. Eventually, I came back and finished the mission. David wrote about another great side quest in Spider-Man 2 that had him tearing up, so I’m glad I’m not alone. If you want to see someone play through this quest, check it out here. Howard’s side quest in Spider-Man 2 is just one of many unexpected, amazing moments in the game.
Note: Okay, now this the last time Spider-Man 2 appears on this list.
1. Saying Goodbye to a Virtual Parrot in Bird Alone
Bird Alone fixed me, broke me down, and lifted me back up, all for $2.99 on my phone. I wrote a whole essay about how this game made me cry. I think it might be the best video game writing I’ve ever done? I’m proud of it, especially because I was GOING THROUGH IT when I wrote it. Here’s an excerpt:
But as the days went on, I kept thinking about [my virtual parrot that I named] Miso, and all the goodbyes I have ever had to say. I began to think of the goodbyes I will have to say for loved ones and friends and people I don’t even know yet who will someday be an important part of the fabric of my life.
… Miso reminded me it was okay just to be. Miso encouraged me to try again tomorrow. Miso reminded me that people can make beautiful, weird art that can resonate with other people. That maybe I can make art like that, that I can connect with others. Every day, Miso reminded me I was still there.
I’m still here.
A Note of Gratitude
I’ll write a for-real list of my favorite games of 2023 soon, but for now, I’d just like to share that I’m continually grateful for the space at The Punished Backlog. I love that I get to talk seriously about games, which are themselves very fun (such as a recent op-ed about Alan Wake needing therapy, or a tirade about how Detective Pikachu Returns misses the mark). I enjoy writing earnest reviews of indie games, sharing hype such as for late 90s Barbie video games, and contributing to lists, both silly and serious.
After writing this piece, I realize a lot of the things that really shook me up were about saying goodbye, especially to friends. Growing up, I had to move around every year or two; farewells have always been something that’s hard for me, and I’ve had to do some difficult ones lately. I’m grateful to these games for giving me a space to explore and process those feelings.
It makes sense that Spider-Man 2 appears on this list a lot, for me–the story makes it clear that we cannot insist that we are fine when we’re not, that it’s okay to lean on others, and that our communities are what give us strength. I’m grateful for new friends I’ve made and enriching communities I already have, including here at The Punished Backlog. This year, we’ve gotten a lot of new contributors and it’s been a joy to work with them. (You can read about how to join us here!) I am especially appreciative of my fellow editors here, David Silbert and Sam Martinelli, who have been incredible colleagues, editors, and friends. I’ve so enjoyed growing with this site over the past few years. Love y’all.
1 Comment
I love you Amanda! I would probably skip through a lot of these scenes because I’m overly task and rush oriented and a HEARTLESS GREMLIN so i’m glad i can experience them here