Yep, you read that correctly. I’m in love with a beautiful Italian man whose job is being my kitchen cupboards. Don’t judge; you’re bound to find an inanimate object to love in Date Everything!
Developed by Sassy Chap Games and published by Team 17, Date Everything! has been one of the most anticipated games of the year by cozy gamers. In this hilarious simulation game that doesn’t take itself seriously, you get to literally date everything in your home.
Date Everything! begins with your character starting their new role in customer service at an Amazon-like corporation. It’s a remote job, where you will log in and log off on your home computer each day… except you don’t. You’re immediately laid off thanks to AI taking over your position.
Fortunately, the boredom of unemployment doesn’t last long, as a pair of mysterious glasses called “Dateviators” is delivered to your home via drone. With these suspicious spectacles, you discover that they open a new world — one where you can meet objects around your house, and date them!
Now You See ‘Em
While wearing the Dateviators, you can awaken one object at a time around the house. Sometimes, however, you may find some objects interacting with each other in human form. When in this form, the objects are known as “Dateables,” with each Dateable added to your roster once you’ve met. Be sure to interact with objects without the Dateviators on, as you need to do so to find more potential lovers.
Your home is essentially your sandbox, letting you meet whomever you’d like. You can speak with the toilet, water heater, bed, and even a bobby pin. Everyone has their own personality and shares a part of themselves with you, sort of like speed dating. There are 100 Dateables to meet, and with limited stamina, you will engage with about four per day.
Each Dateable in Date Everything! is voiced by a different actor, making this experience even more enjoyable and impressive. The developers even boast about having over 70,000 lines of voiced dialogue across dozens of voice actors.
100 Unique Household Items To Love, Hate, or Friend-Zone
One thing I found annoying while playing Date Everything! is that some Dateables work as multiple household objects. For example, the office chair functions the same as the living room chair, the oven mitt functions the same as the stove, and so on. To me, the best part of Date Everything! is meeting and unlocking new Dateables, so accidentally stumbling upon someone I’ve already met was irritating. I understand a lot of effort has been put into personalizing each character, but that is exactly why I was disappointed to not always meet a new potential lover.
Sassy Chap Games puts the player in charge by letting you date, hate, or befriend as many dateables as you’d like. It’s up to you how you choose to interact with each dateable in Date Everything!’s visual novel format. I’d like to give a special shoutout to Betty the Bed (IYKYK)!
You Probably Won’t Date Everything in Date Everything!
Despite the concept, some Dateables may already be turned off by the idea of dating, or extremely turned on. For someone like me, it’s kind of a relief, because I have trouble saying no or being mean to fictional characters, especially when they’re voice-acted. It’s hard to be mean!
With that said, you do need to explore different kinds of relationships in order to gain personality points to unlock more dialogue options. It takes a long time to do, so don’t worry if it takes most of your playthrough to do so. I have seen some streamers set goals to either love or hate all Dateables. That’s not the intended way to play; however, it’s a viable way to relish the conversations Date Everything! explores.
With each Dateable being on their own journey in their “life,” it’s important to explore different dynamics. There are definitely some characters that will irk you, and some you will adore from the beginning. As you develop relationships, some may turn into friendships — some built on love, others on hate. Honestly, just do what feels right to you, as the ultimate goal is to have fun and find love(s)!
Apps To Track Your Lovers and Navigate Your Love Life
If you’re wondering about the spice level in the game, here’s your warning. There are sexual undertones in the dialogue, but if that isn’t for you, no worries. Date Everything! will walk you through its settings early on and show you how to turn off “kinky” content. That said, sexual topics are not the focus of the game, so the content is pretty minimal if you choose to keep it on.
When in your home, your smartphone is an essential tool to help navigate your unique environment while wearing the Dateviators. There’s an app to track rumors spread between objects, a “Date-a-Dex” which records everyone you’ve met, and even apps to check in with friends or former colleagues.
Date Everything! is loaded with content, and the developers did a great job of making sure the UI is organized well. All in all, there were very few moments while playing where I found myself confused or feeling like I needed to look something up.
Final Thoughts: Who Should Play Date Everything?
Date Everything! explores some mature topics, but it is generally a game that many people will like. Fans of cozy games, visual novels, life/dating sims (though this isn’t a traditional dating sim), and/or the author Chuck Tingle are likely to enjoy this interactive homebound adventure. Additionally, the technical skill level in Date Everything! is relatively low, making this an easy recommendation for those looking for a unique experience.
I reviewed Date Everything! on Nintendo Switch, and despite it running well, it unsurprisingly performs and looks better on PC. Regardless of which platform you play on, though, you are sure to have a chuckle and a good time.
Score: 8.9/10
Date Everything!, developed by Sassy Chap Games and published by Team 17, was released on June 17, 2025, for PC, PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X/S, and Nintendo Switch. MRSP: $29.99. Version reviewed: Switch.
Disclaimer: A review code was provided by the publisher.
Have You Played Date Everything?
If so, which Dateable is your favorite? Let us know in the comments below!
Allison has been playing all sorts of games since the late ‘90s. She particularly enjoys life sims, casual games, tactical RPGs, and anything Mario. Her dream jobs are to be a Stardew Valley speed runner and a Mary Tyler Moore historian. As a recent MBA graduate, Allison hopes to use her extra time tackling her backlog and the never-ending list of 2023 releases.
