Ranking Harvest Moon Games By Bachelors

Harvest Moon Bachelors Are Trash

Harvest Moon’s love interests are, in general, pretty hit or miss. Your bachelorettes are typically fine, if a little bland, but the bachelors tend to be… iffy, to say the least. With that in mind, I give you: Harvest Moon games ranked by their bachelors.

The rules are as follows: Only games I have familiarity with are up for ranking. This spans from More Friends of Mineral Town up to the Story of Seasons split. The only games being included are mainline games (so no Rune Factory) released in the U.S. (see: games I’m familiar with). While character personality is important, looks will also be factored in, as will variety of bachelors in a particular title.

Here goes, from worst to best:

Another Wonderful Life

Another Wonderful Life features some of my least favorite bachelors from the DS era (I know this is chronologically earlier, but I played the DS series first, so that will always be my reference point). The graphics are early 2000s ugly, and one of the three bachelors just completely sucks.

The bachelors being awful is exacerbated by the fact that I really like the Wonderful Life bachelorettes! I’m a basic bitch, so you know I love Celia. The writers had the capacity to create good love interests; they just chose not to, at least where players interested in romancing guys were concerned.

Cute

Cute is a little bit of a disaster on the bachelor front. Which is such a shame, because the bachelorettes in the DS series are great! They’re all perfect. I have thoughts about doing little “love interest power rankings” for various Harvest Moon games, and the bachelorettes in DS will be extremely difficult to sort after the initial “every single one is better than all of the bachelors.”

But despite my love, this isn’t about them; this is about the bachelors. And they’re just not good. There’s really only one good choice, and it’s Rock. Ask your friends who played Harvest Moon: Cute who they married. They married Rock.

A New Beginning

These! Boys! Are! Trash! These are some bad boys! And not in a fun “rides a motorcycle and doesn’t take shit from anyone” way! We’re talking about some “stop insulting the person you’re dating” garbage-tier boys. Allen is potentially the worst the series has ever written.

The over-abundance of icy-hearted rude boys really drags down the overall quality of boys to be found here. It’s also, let’s just say, less than ideal that it takes until Plan #3, arguably halfway through the game, to unlock a boy who’s actually nice to you. Rod, along with the return of Amir and introduction of Sanjay, almost redeem the others, but overall? Trash.

For those of you wondering why this game is so high on my list if I hate all the boys available to romance for the first half of the game, let me just say this: At least I have strong feelings. (Also: my love for the late-game boys is intense.)

More Friends of Mineral Town

More Friends of Mineral Town gets points for variety—eight bachelors!—but also loses some for looks (what is happening with Cliff’s hair???) and general art style (I know it was the early 2000s, but that’s no excuse!). Personalities are pretty average here, and also… the doctor is literally named Doctor. The level of thought put into these gentlemen is nothing to be impressed by.

Tree of Tranquility

Tree of Tranquility is where the bachelors start to get good! We’ve got our variety—eight bachelors again—and the series’ graphics are on the up and up. The portrait art style is pretty cute, and the bachelors have distinct personalities in a way they hadn’t in previous games (it’s better writing). This is the first game on our list in which I can understand romancing more than a couple of the guys, and that’s worth some considerable points in this competition.

The Tale of Two Towns

The Tale of Two Towns has six boys to offer, including returning Grand Bazaar boy Dirk. Dirk has matured since last we saw him, now working as the mail carrier for our titular towns. The variety here is good, but the quality leaves something to be desired. Personalities are a little blah on the whole, and the chibi-ness of the portrait art makes romancing some of the guys uncomfortable at best. Despite being older, Dirk looks even more like a child now than he did in Grand Bazaar. The guys who are drawn less chibi-ish, however, are—I’ll say it—pretty handsome! We’re not looking at a 0 for art style, but definitely not a 10 either. These are some solidly mid-tier boys.

Grand Bazaar

I love these boys. These are some great boys! There is not a single boy in this game who I’d judge you for romancing. From the sweet artist with lovely curls, Angelo, or the gloomy merchant with very mild tsundere leanings, Lloyd, to the secretive and withdrawn prince, Amir, or either of the truly delightful brothers, hardworking Ivan and cinnamon roll Dirk, there’s a boy here for everyone!

I’m also a huge fan of how Grand Bazaar does romance, as I discussed with fellow site contributor Anna. To sum it up, most of these boys have at least one other person, whether it’s family members or friends or both, who must be won over before you can marry the boy in question. This was a great way to make the town feel more interconnected, a detail I’ve appreciated since before I knew how to describe it. These are great boys from a great game.

Honorable Mention: Stardew Valley

There is very little I dislike about Stardew Valley, and the love interests to be had here are top-notch. It’s not a Harvest Moon game, but since it frequently gets described in LGBTQ+ spaces as “Harvest Moon that lets you be gay,” I’d be remiss not to mention it. Pelican Town’s boys are a 10/10 bisexual bunch.

Enjoy this piece on Harvest Moon bachelors? Looking for more great content? Start by reading about what makes a great romance game. Or, get nostalgic by checking out our article on girly childhood games!