The minute I saw it, I said, “I’m not paying for that.” In the hype-laden weeks leading up to its release, I kept telling myself it wouldn’t happen. Once it came out, I said, “I’ll skip this one.” When they released a free demo, I played it and thought that scratched whatever itch it needed to.
Three days later, I succumbed to impulse. I purchased the all-too-familiar game for the Nintendo Switch at full price ($60) from the eShop. Once I decided I was making the purchase, I couldn’t even wait for the physical copy. I started playing it right when it finished downloading.
Now, in 2025, nearly 15 years after I first played it for the Wii and just two years after my last playthrough of the 3DS version, I am once again playing Donkey Kong Country Returns, this time in the form of the Switch remaster.
At this moment, I feel great shame for doing so.
The Game Isn’t the Problem
Don’t get me wrong: DKC Returns is an excellent 2D platformer, one any fan of the genre should play if they haven’t before. As a lifelong fan of the DKC series, I was overjoyed the minute I got my hands on Returns for the Wii, the first new game in the franchise in nearly 15 years. Retro Studios—the developer behind the Metroid Prime games—did a stellar job with Returns (and its superior sequel, Tropical Freeze), carrying over so much of what made the Super Nintendo titles so iconic yet adding enough new flair and mechanics to feel fresh and new (at the time). It wasn’t a perfect game by any means, but it was still a welcome addition to the Nintendo canon, and one of the best original Wii games.
Still, when the Big N announced an HD remaster of Donkey Kong Country Returns for the Switch at a Nintendo Direct last year, I felt no excitement whatsoever. Why would I? Nintendo had made it clear that Donkey Kong Country Returns HD would just be a visually improved version of Donkey Kong Country Returns 3D (the 3DS port of the Wii game with a few new levels and updated difficulty settings) with ZERO new content added. We haven’t gotten a brand new Donkey Kong game at all—much less a new Donkey Kong Country—in over a decade, and THIS is what Nintendo offers us?
Instantly upon seeing this announcement, I said, probably out loud, “Not this time.” I’ve paid full price for half-assed ports and mediocre remakes of classic Nintendo games many times before, but DKC Returns HD, a highly-marketed release so late in the system’s life cycle, would be my limit, a line in the sand I could not cross. Well, at least that’s what I thought.
Not Exactly an Iron Will
Last week, I caved. Surrounded by mountains of horrific news each day all while navigating my normal day-to-day stress and anxiety, I decided to just give in and buy DKC Returns HD as a way to satisfy my hunger for gaming comfort food. Instead of sifting through the dozens of games I haven’t played but could easily access through Xbox Game Pass or Nintendo Switch Online—you know, games I already have access to without paying anything extra—I chose to pay full price for what I believe to be the fourth best DKC game (out of five).
It would be dishonest to say I regret this decision after the fact, since I’m having so much fun. Despite having played it just two years ago, I somehow still forgot how well-designed this game is top to bottom. The jump and roll mechanics feel weighty and precise. Some platforming sequences can be insanely difficult, yet they never feel cheap or unfair. The collectibles can be a joy to find, and the added challenge of gathering the K-O-N-G letters to unlock bonus levels never gets old. Meanwhile, I adore how each world’s levels come together to tell a cohesive (and wordless) story, often about the collapse and wanton destruction of old structures, such as ships or scaffolding.
That said, I still feel a little bit ashamed. It’s not about the money I spent or the fact that I could have replayed the 3DS version at no additional cost. It’s that if I succumb to temptation on this particular remaster—one that adds nothing new and barely improves on what was already there—who’s to say I won’t do it again for a game I don’t even like as much?
I’ve had no issue in the past buying certain titles multiple times, especially if they had just become available on modern hardware or were relatively cheap. I also won’t feel the slightest bit bad about inevitably buying The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker HD and The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess HD when they come to the Switch or Switch 2 in the future (I’m still holding out hope), since those are two of my favorite games ever made.
Still, even though Donkey Kong Country Returns is a really good title and an important entry in the Donkey Kong franchise, it’s nowhere near my top 30–40 games ever made list, nor would I even say it’s one that really needed the HD boost. It’s just another great Nintendo game, though not an essential one.
What’s the Endgame?
I’m 34 years old now, and as I get older, I learn which parts of myself I can change or improve, and which parts I can’t (or don’t really want to). Part of me knows I should be more careful about my spending on games I already own in some form. But another part of me knows I’m going to buy it at some point anyway, so why wait?
It makes no sense to be hard on myself for a purchase as small and inconsequential as this. It’s not as though my finances are an absolute mess and I simply can’t spare $60 on something that’ll surely put a smile on my face. Still, I feel like I’ve crossed a particular threshold here, and I’m scared at what other half-baked nonsense Nintendo will have me paying for down the line. Hopefully, Donkey Kong Country Returns HD is as far as I’ll go. Deep down, though, I know it won’t be.
