As we enter Season 3 of COVID and hunker down in our homes yet again, now’s a great time to get your girlfriend* into video games if she/he/they are in need of a new hobby.
Here’s how to get someone you love into video games in just five steps…
*Partner (the word I’ll use for the rest of the piece), *boyfriend, *spouse, *friend-with-benefits, *crush, *bestie, roomate, or even *yourself (in which case, skip to Step 4!)
Step 1: Ask if Your Partner Is Actually Interested in Video Games
I love this great piece in GQ by Joshua Rivera, who wrote in 2018, “Sure, knowing what your girlfriend really wants for Valentine’s Day is hot, but you know what’s hotter? Respecting her damn agency.”
So, just ask. You can say, “Hey, you know gaming is a big hobby of mine, and since we’re going to be spending more time indoors again, I wanted to know if you’d be interested in trying out some games with me.” If they say no, it’s all good. If they say yes…
Step 2: Set a Playing Date
Put it on the calendar. This is date night, boss, so act like it. Whether it’s platonic or romantic, make the effort to let your partner know you’re setting aside time for the two of you. Maybe grab a few special beers or fold your favorite couch quilt all nice. The most important thing here is to make sure the time is set aside so you can both bring the right attitudes (you: patience, them: cautious enthusiasm).
May I suggest Sunday morning with coffee or nachos before the Super Bowl? A little home happy hour after work is also good.
Step 3: Get a Couch Co-Op Game, and Play It
Co-op games allow you to be together, and by being on the same team, you two are on the same team. I’m talking about a game that is truly cooperative, not one that simply “has co-op.” I’m talking one that gives the two of you a chance to bond, and your partner the space to make mistakes and grow without feeling insecure. By starting a new game together, you two will have a shared experience where you can later discuss what you liked, what didn’t resonate, and why.
This is a key opportunity to engage your partner with one of your favorite hobbies, and, bonus, it fulfills a lot of love languages. (Pro-tip: If your don’t know what love languages are, check them out and watch your relationship level up.)
The Love Languages of Video Games:
- Acts of service — setting it all up (even if it means going out to GameStop or doing the painstaking action of inputting a credit card for a digital purchase); spending time teaching them the controls
- Quality time — experiencing something new together and making time to discuss afterward what they thought about it
- Physical touch — sitting with your legs touching; putting a hand on their back/kissing/etc. when they do something well
- Gift — buying a game you spent time researching that you think they’d enjoy; grabbing some of their favorite snacks to enjoy while playing
- Words of affirmation — giving compliments when your partner gets the hang of it; expressing gratitude that they were willing to give this a shot
Good Co-Op Games to Play With Your Partner
Castle Crashers
This is my number one recommendation. It’s an extremely straightforward game: Run around as a little knight with super powers, and kill bad guys to rescue princesses. The controls are easy to figure out after a few rounds. Levels are designed to slowly teach you new skills, to provide mini bursts of accomplishment, and to provide plenty of breaks to catch a breather. It’s also lighthearted in tone with silly gremlins and happy pets that follow you around.
Most importantly, it’s cooperative. Everyone’s on the same side (up to four players, for you double-daters), and players gain experience they can use to level up different techniques to support their play style. Plus, it’s an indie game, and you can tell your partner how cool it is to support small development teams.
Castle Crashers is available on PlayStation consoles, Xbox consoles, Nintendo Switch, PC, and Mac, all for the low price of $15, so there’s no reason not to try it.
Telltale’s The Walking Dead: Season One
If your partner is nervous about the speed and hand-eye coordination needed for even low-key combat, try one of the Telltale games. Chances are they’re familiar with the superstar franchise The Walking Dead, and this series is a great way to demonstrate choice-based games.
Switch out a night of TV binging for an episode of this game, trading the controller between levels or switching off who gets to make a decision.
If zombies are too freaky, try another Telltale game. I’m a big fan of the graphic novel adaptation of alt-universe, modern fairytales The Wolf Among Us (which–after so many years!–is finally getting a sequel in The Wolf Among Us 2 later this year!).
Don’t Starve Together
The mobile version of this survival game (Don’t Starve: Newhome) is a great co-op option if you’re doing long distance. It’s a little complicated for new gamers, but the range of gameplay (building, hunting, gathering, defending) plus the delightful Tim Burton-esque graphics will give you two a lot to work with.
Not into any of those three?
Skip to step 5 for more suggestions!
Step 4: Think About Your Partner’s Hobbies, Then Help Them Find a Game Just for Them
Gaming’s a special experience in that you can create your own little world and just get lost in it. To help your partner take more ownership of their gaming life, help them identify a single-player game that they can enjoy and explore on their own.
Consider what interests your partner has and suggest a game from the list below (or, hell, maybe even just show it to them—ooh la la, choices). Offer to set the order up, or maybe even buy it for them as a gift! Many games on my list below are on mobile, and are either free or less than $5.
Important: FOLLOW-UP! After they’ve had a few days with the game, ask your partner what they like about it, what things have surprised them, and if they think you’d enjoy it. Create spaces for those excitable, joyous conversations around gaming that you already love to have with strangers on the internet.
Video Games for People New to Gaming
I’ve collected a list of 14 games covering a variety of interests that I think could be great for anyone new to gaming. I’ve emphasized mobile games to limit any platform anxiety or barriers to entry. I’ve also included pictures of a few below, plus mini write-ups to get you and yours curious!
For New Gamers Who Love Iron Chef and Great British Bake-Off…
Mobile pick: Delicious World — A truly awesome, free mobile game—a rarity, in my opinion. This “cooking” game has a sweet story and satisfyingly simple gameplay (ingredients > oven > serve). I’ve been happy to spend many quiet hours on this game for the past few years. I’ve loved texting my BFF about the “hot goss” of the characters as the levels progress, as well as sharing tactics for getting those French pastries out in a timely manner.
PC & Nintendo Switch pick: Battle Chef Brigade — A brilliant little indie that mashes up monster-hunting and saving the world with fine dining. Great for anyone who ever wishes they could compete on Chopped! There’s also a couch co-op competition mode.
For New Gamers Who Love To Read…
Mobile pick for Jane Austen fans: Regency Love — I’m a diehard fan of this sweet little indie made by three dope femme developers in Australia. With easy-to-understand gameplay and a deep knowledge of Austen, this one’s a winner.
Mobile & console pick for the travel-obsessed: 80 Days — Super re-playable masterpiece by indie studio Inkle! that is a joy for anyone sorely missing adventures near and far.
Mobile pick for the D&D inclined: Sorcery! — Another Inkle! treasure, this one has two sequels and does a fabulous job of creating a fantasy mood.
For New Gamers Who Use(d) Dating Apps and/or Love the Thrill of New Relationships…
Mobile pick: Reigns — This series has many spin-offs, so pick whichever one piques your partner’s interest the most (I personally like the feminist witchy swiping of Reigns, Her Majesty).
PC & consoles pick: Boyfriend Dungeon — This romantic, pretty-easy-to-play dungeon crawler is one of my 2021 Games of the Year! A really fun way to get new players into trying out games with combat.
For New Gamers Who Love Animals…
Mobile pick: Furistas Cat Cafe — Despite the odd name, it’s an adorable free game where you design your own cat café and pair cats with happy espresso drinkers.
Mobile & consoles pick: Donut County — An intuitive, delightful game where you control a donut-delivering raccoon who accidentally creates holes that swallow up his whole town.
For New Gamers Who Love Spoopy and Creepy Things…
Mobile & consoles pick: Oxenfree — This point-and-click adventure makes pointing and clicking exciting. It’s a truly excellent exploration in storytelling as teenagers stumble across a mystery on a haunted island that evokes time travel, young love, and naval telecommunications. What a range.
Mobile pick: Device 6 — An interactive novel that is creepy/haunting/delightful in its vision and execution, sure to impress through its design if nothing else.
For New Gamers Who Love Law & Order or CSI-Anywhere…
Mobile & console pick: Ace Attorney: Phoenix Wright Trilogy — I wrote a small essay about the legacy of this beloved series on my mystery list (linked above), and getting the first three as a bundle? What a deal. Easy to play on tablets or phones, funny and charming writing… this one’s a no-brainer.
Mobile & console pick: Tangle Tower — A brilliant, fully-voiced who-dun-it mystery complete with colorful puzzles and a strange house of suspects to interview. Plus, it’s included on Apple Arcade, so if your partner has an iPhone and wants to explore a variety of games, now might be the time to try it.
For New Gamers Who Love to Shop…
Mobile pick: Super Stylist — A free successor to Style Savvy (where did that go?!?!),this game is a delightful way to scratch the simple itch of fashion and shopping that many of us have lost touch with during COVID.
Step 5: Repeat Step 3 With More Advanced Games
Good Two-Player Video Games for Couples
- Haven — A sweet game about a young couple trying to survive on an abandoned planet that includes fun floating controls, diverse characters, dreamy set-designs, well-written dialogue, and accessible combat.
- Spiritfarer — I’m happy to share that Spiritfarer has both emotionally wrecked and also fueled me. It’s one of my favorite games that I’ve played in the last few years. One player can play protagonist Stella and the other her cat (who has the same powers) in this “cozy death management sim.” Read about why I think it’s the ultimate Avatar: The Last Airbender game.
- Borderlands series — Absolutely absurd in its over-the-top violence and humor, Borderlands is a great co-op that allows for gamers to grow together through rambunctious gameplay.
- Kingdom Two Crowns — This mobile fort-building game is addictive. It’s easy to binge and just as easy to pause. The co-op mode makes developing a base on monster-filled islands a little friendlier.
- Untitled Goose Game — There’s an option for two geese to collaborate to ruin the days of local villagers. This playful indie game is perfect for anyone who likes a bit of absurdity, humor, and puzzle machinations.
- Stardew Valley — A bit complicated for first-time gamers, but because of the slower pace and added co-op mode, you two can take your time exploring this cozy game of impressive proportions.
- Injustice or Pokken Tournament — Both a good fit for competitive couples who don’t mind getting in a fight—literally.
- It Takes Two — Made headlines last year when it won Game of the Year at the Game Awards. I personally find the story and characters a bit grating, but the collaborative puzzles are truly impressive… as long as you don’t mind role-playing as a couple on the verge of divorce.
Puzzle and Mystery Games To Play Together
Another option is to try taking turns on a mystery or detective video game, discussing who to question or what clues to bring up. Consider co-playing Paradise Killer, Overboard! (another Inkle! gem, man I’m into them), or What Remains of Edith Finch. You might also try sitting side by side with a game like Baba Is You or The Witness that asks players to think beyond the box, encouraging conversations as you try to unravel its puzzles.
Good Co-Op Games for Groups
Some people find it easier to get into gaming when there’s a social aspect. Invite a few people over (safely) to play Overcooked! or Lovers in a Dangerous Space Time; both of these games are more fun (and easier to succeed in) with three or four players. However, I think the controls in both of these games are a bit overwhelming (especially for introverts), which is why I haven’t recommended them earlier in the list.
My OG rec, Castle Crashers, is also great for a group.
Gaming as a Couple Takes Work, But It’s Worth It
Gaming with partners can take a lot of different forms. Order a pizza and talk about what games you’re enjoying and what you’re excited to play soon. Enjoy evolving this hobby with them, and y’all will enter a new phase of your relationship. Happy gaming <3
PS: Know other great couch co-op games? Have suggestions? Reporting back on how my guide went? Please holler in the comments below.
